Saturday, June 20, 2015

Our Culture

We've seen these questions attached to articles/videos/movies/music many times:
       "Men do this all the time, why is it an issue when women do it?"
       "He sang about sexualizing women in his songs, nobody complained. So what's with the backlash she's getting for sexualizing men?"
       "How are women the cause of rape when they're the victims?"
and something I watched recently:

Quote: "I took his, and why doesn't that make it into the news?"

We can go on and on and on trying to decide who's right, who's wrong, and what should and should not be done, but that's not the point. The point right now, is that our culture has developed into this toxic condition where we don't see anything wrong in wearing skimpy clothes and talk about things that used to be discussed in private with our close friends, out in the public. We got so used to 'sharing' everything everywhere that we don't recognise that sex, vulgarity, and violence are issues that should be handled delicately. Then we pulled gender into the vortex and made it an issue of 'gender equality'. What does it matter who is naked or is it a man or a woman who's pelvic thrusting or grabbing other people's body? Nobody is supposed to do that out in the open to begin with. It's not a matter about gender, it's not a matter of race or religion. It's a matter of morality. It's not about what women think about men and what men think about women, but it's about what kids think about men and women in general, and what do we (as adults) think is going through their innocent little heads and what do they expect when they become adults themselves.

I learnt my first 'bad' word when I was 13 or so, and I was intrigued but scared to use it at the same time because girls don't go around cussing in school (at least, not in my school and not in those years back then). I've only gotten the guts to spell the words out on paper by the time I was about 15, and probably used it a couple of times at 16 or 17. It doesn't make me feel any better or superior though, I don't see what's they hype about being vulgar. Maybe I'm lucky to be born into a good environment, maybe I'm lucky to meet the right kind of people in my life, or maybe I'm just too lame to 'appreciate' vulgarity. Or, maybe because I don't go on the internet for many reasons besides blogging and YouTube-surfing. 

Kids these days are tech-savvy, there isn't a child in any family with average income that doesn't know how to use a computer or a smart phone. They're exposed to the World Wide Web so early in their lives that they know that everything they want to know is a single click away, as soon as they learnt how to spell and read. So they know the words and probably what goes on in adult-life as much as adults themselves. Their brains are more malleable, more flexible and absorbant when it comes to comprehending new informations, compare to us older folks. This makes them more open to accepting these information regardless on whether are they good or bad. Sure, they know what's right and what's wrong, "but hey, those people on the TV and on the internet are doing it, so I suppose there are exceptions for doing these 'bad' things".

When artistes, celebrities, politicians or any person of influence misbehaved, we are so quick in blaming it on their gender, race and religion, when it's really their morality that needs some fixing. We're so quick to judge people based on their actions and dig up all the other times they've messed up in the past and jumble them together and conclude that this individual is an abomination to our species. What's worse is that we tend to refuse to listen to their explanation and assume that "well that 's what they should say to try to salvage their reputation, but I know they're lying." Well, do you really? Do you do that to your children as well? or your parents? ...What? They got different treatment now? Simply because you're related by blood? So if your family did the same mistake, you would try to forgive them? What are you trying to say here? A criminal is a criminal as long as they're not related to you then?

It's the same concept you're following when you blame some women and men for doing what they did. Culture can affect us only up to a certain point. How you actually behave yourself is totally up to your own morality. I grew up with both eastern and western influences, and often I like the western culture more. Nevertheless, I don't go around wearing mini mini MINI skirts and tube tops or outrageous outfits and with stilettos or platform shoes. I don't go around pretending I'm caucasian. I think make-up is nice, but I personally don't like putting them on my face. It's just not me, I'm just more comfortable wearing clothes that doesn't go above my knees and doesn't show my boobs and let my face (and pimples) breathe. We're human with minds of our own; nothing influences you unless you gave it permission to.

Whatever you do, there will always be someone around to catch on to it, especially when you have kids around. Children are quick learners; Whatever you say and however you act, they follow suit. Some people do stupid things, some people do stupid things and are careless enough to get themselves caught on camera. But that's their problem. Of course, you can be upset about it, but don't go around bashing every other thing related to this person even when those other things have nothing to do with the crime/shame/mistake here. An rotten apple is a rotten apple, do not blame the grass and leaves and the branches and the tree and its roots for it. I'm sure you're good parents, aunts, and uncles to your younger relatives. I'm sure you want your kids to grow up and become compassionate, kind, peace-loving adults. You wouldn't want them going around causing trouble and offending other people's identities. Because what does that say about YOUR OWN identity when you go around stepping on other people's genes and beliefs?

I know I started this whole essay about gender equality, but morality and the education of our future generation are more important. Let's save gender equality for next time. Next week maybe?