Sunday, March 27, 2016

Oh I see where you're going with this, you sneaky sneaky ladies ;)

It's the 21st century, and it's nothing new to see people standing up for women's rights, gender equality, the LGBTQ* community; whatever that wasn't quite fair in the past, it's getting its attention and being "fixed" now.

You saw it right, I put inverted commas at that word. "Fixed".

I'm not going to touch into a lot of topics today -- there's a lot to say about each topic and they're all very noble acts and obviously made life better for a lot of people -- I'm just going to talk about something which is close to my heart: women's rights. And I'm not even discussing ALL women's rights, I don't intend to write a thesis on it over here.

You see, I understand and I do agree that women deserve the right to earn equal wages as men do for the same amount of work we put out (if not more). If a woman can hold her sheep together with all the raging hormones and PMS and judgements she get for being born female, asking to be paid the same amount of salary as her male colleagues is fair enough. But that is not what I wanted to talk about in this post as well XD (lol)

What I really want to talk about, is that there are many working women in our society today. Nothing wrong with that, right? Even if the women are married, there are many who still have a day job, with or without children. Again, nothing wrong with that. Living is expensive now. You can't expect to afford healthy food, a decent house to live in, some pocket money to pamper yourself for your hardwork, AND some extra change left by the end of it all to be saved into your bank account.  You can only choose three and only three, and if you have kids, choose two. Because you need money to spend on your kids too. So goodbye self-reward. Try tricking yourself into believing that "my children is my reward, I live to make them happy because their happiness makes me happy" lie, but I'm not sure how long is that belief going to last you, because everyone is selfish, and everyone has a limit where after you cross that particular threshold, you go crazy and make no sense anymore. So my theory is, in order to keep your sanity intact, you HAVE to love yourself at least SOME of the time and get things that YOU want, not because you need it but simply because you want it.

I grew up knowing that one day I will need to go out and work and earn a living so I can take care of myself financially. My other option would be to find a rich husband and depend on him for the rest of my life, but that option probably reserved only for women with good karma. My karma is alright, but I don't think it's THAT awesome. So I've always known that there is a job out there with my name branded onto the wall of the cubicle for me, just waiting for the day that I've run out of reasons to not work. (Note: A part of myself is looking forward to working, but the rest of me just don't feel sure about it because I still don't really know what should I be working on.)

Due to my massive ego, I've always (secretly) scorn upon women who depend on their husbands to support themselves, until recently when I suddenly had an epiphany and realized that these women might've been one step ahead of us all along. 

My younger self thought that women who don't have her own job and her own paycheck is dependent, not self-sufficient at all, and are always asking their husbands to pay for the things that they needed. In my mind they seemed like fern on trees, piggybacking on the tree's hard earned height from years of battling with the elements. I did not like how that looks and I'm certainly not intending to be one of these ferns.

Now that I'm older, I don't see it that way anymore. In fact, I kind of envy these women. Why? because they get to stay home and not go out if they feel like it; they don't even have to dress up if they don't want to. And they get to spend time with their kids and play with them and bake them cakes and cookies and stuff. 

The only tasks that they have as homemakers, are cooking and cleaning, which I don't think is hard to do. Even working women have to cook and clean their houses when you get home from work. Cooking and cleaning are chores that each and everyone of us should do on a daily (if not weekly) basis when we move out and live on our own. 

My own mother is a homemaker, and her lifestyle consists of Candy Crush Saga, naps, snacks, Line dance and Wushu with my dad. Cooking and cleaning only takes up one-fifth of her days, and she gets the weekends off AND pocket money every month from dad (I don't think I should reveal how much, but I can tell you, it's not a mere few hundred bucks kind of a deal). Think about it, accommodation+meals+electric+water bills all covered by dad, and she doesn't have to pay taxes for the salary(pocket money) that she gets. That's a pretty awesome life I'd say.

And if you've been a stay-at-home-mother for 17 years and above, you'll get your very own chauffeur in the form of your teenage child, and if you have twins(triplets, quadruplets etc), whoever that has a driving license (paid by their fathers mind you) automatically earn themselves a spot as your very own driver to bring you around and you'll never ever have to drive yourself EVER AGAIN. And don't worry about your sons and daughters resisting the job, just remember that boys love food and free video games, and girls love shopping and desserts. Just remember to incorporate these things into your destination, and they'll be more than happy to bring you there. I did not realize this until just a couple of years ago while driving my mum out for shopping, and I have to say, touché ,mummy. Touché.

And I never thought I'd genuinely think that my mother is the smartest woman out of a world filled with many great women to look up to: Mother Teresa, Marie Curie, Helen Keller, Margaret Thatcher...so many inspirational women!

I used to aspire to be an engineer, an architect, an artist, a scientist, without thinking about the long-term occupational hazards. Now I realized that, well, even though being an independent woman and buy my own house and car is great, and women who do that are awesome, I just much rather have all that be bought for me and have all the expenses paid for while I just enjoy my life drawing and painting and baking and sewing and play with my kids(when I have them) and make artsy mess with them and bring them out to play in parks and have snacks at ice cream shops. THAT'S the dream worth realising.

Of course, I don't intend to be 100% dependent on my husband/life partner (remember the massive ego from earlier?) , so I can't possibly not contribute financially at all. I'm not THAT selfish. I'll just work on something that requires minimal work, and maximum outcome. And I'm sure almost immediately ideas will come popping up into your heads already, so I'm not going to elaborate on that any further, as if this entry isn't long enough already. (:

*LGBTQ: The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer community